All day long

Nobody buys nothing, now

Something must be wrong

Man, you know instead

Of trying to see this crap

I could stayed at home, honey

And had a fabulous nap

Refrain:

I’m an antique dealer, baby

I sure do got the blues

I wish I had a real job

Ain’t nothing else I know how to do

Antique Dealer Blooz, words and music by Robert Zanré (2007)

BOSTON – Robert Zanré believes the antique industry needs an anthem. And, coincidently, he believes that he has written “the ultimate anthem of the business.”

In May, Zanré, a self-described “legendary songwriter, composer and performer of relatively unpopular music,” made a surprise appearance at the Brimfield Antique Fair. He was at the fair to celebrate and peddle the re-issue of his two-decade old “deeply underground classic CD You’re the One. On the newly-issued CD was the newer song Antique Dealer Blooz, The song – according to Zanré’s agent Elias Ashmole – “has been heralded by those few who have been forced to listen to it as ’the ultimate anthem of the business.’”

The song was written to commemorate the closing of the store, Antiques on Cambridge Street in Boston in 2007. Despite its 10-year tenure as a very successful venue in Boston, the business lost its lease. The song was last publicly performed at the May 2007 “store closing” party.

After that, Zanré dropped from sight.

While the information Zanré’s friends provided for this article should be taken with a grain of salt, the music is real and the inventive information provided in the liner notes on the CD seems to indicate a somewhat whimsical and creative mind behind the music.

The CD, according to Ashmole, has been accorded nearly a sacred status among a “small but fanatic group of tone deaf audiphones.”

Very little is know about Zanré. “He dabbles in antiques,” according to Zanré confidant Rob Werner, a former co-owner of Antiques on Cambridge Street. “He also has several other artistic activities. I understand he has returned to the island of Bouvet where he is working on a visual project. He’s inventing a new color. The only creature that actually see the color, though, is a very rare South American bat. He is still working on that project.”

Aside from the attention he garnered during his very brief appearances at Brimfield and Antiques on Cambridge Street, Zanré remains something of an enigma.

He was born on May 8, 1911, according to information provided by Ashmole. His father is rumored to have been Elvis Cheny, an itinerant glockenspiel virtuoso, who plied his trade in his native rural Moldavia. It has been said that Zanré’s mother was the infamous Hazel Hurst who allegedly sued the estate of William Randolph Hearst with the claim that she had been married to the publisher and therefore was entitled to a considerable inheritance.

“Her allegation was destroyed during a sensational civil trial with the unprecedented and brilliant legal argument that since her last name was spelled with a “u” and his with a “ea” there was no connection other than a similar pronunciation,” Ashmole relates.

The young Robert was adopted and raised by Zeus and Zinnia Zanré on the shores of Loch Ness, Scotland, according to the artist’s supplied biography. There, the family fell upon difficult economic times following the abject failure of their knish and chips shoppe and emigrated to Aswan, Egypt where they were able to parlay their exclusive franchise to sell Lily rain boots in the Sahara desert region into another financial catastrophe.

During what is described as “this somewhat idyllic period,” young Zanré attended St. Oaf’s School for the Intellectually, Socially, Physically and Creatively Impaired, said to be his only known formal education.

Zanré’s unscheduled appearance at Brimfield was met with “quiet enthusiasm,” according to Werner who witnessed the “historic occasion.”

“People liked it,” he said. “Mr. Zanré is not interested in money. He’s an artist.”

Eric C. Rodenberg